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Jessica The Great

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actionables:

just think about how many people are taking a dump right now…your best friend…your third grade crush…the Pope…Miranda Cosgrove…all of them might be doing it at this very moment and I think that’s pretty amazing

6 hours ago with 4,703 notes

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

221cbakerstreet:

charlotteiq:

jade-cooper:

sarah-belham:

"The Favorite" by Omar Rayyan

Favorite what? Demon?!

Loving the fact that whatever it is is wearing a matching flower.

18th century Lilo and Stitch

so i looked up some of this guys other stuff and I

uh

what the fuck

sexy parrot girls yeah ok

oh look the demon has little babies

Tagged: #art

"There are men and women in all of those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there." 

(x)

wifipasswords:

this is heartbreaking

Tagged: #fave

dickpunch69:

NO WINDOWS I JUST WANT TO FORCE QUIT A PROGRAM DONT TRY TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION ACCEPT DEATH AND FACE OBLIVION

7 hours ago with 211,025 notes

kinggjayysshit:

heropirate:

Bob scrubbin’ your blog.

Thanks bob

jbrclothing:

Cool Do’s

Tagged: #reference

kinopia:

"When I was a kid, I believed you would become a mermaid when you went in the water to swim".

I really loved the little mermaid as a kid growing up so I had the warped perception you became a mermaid when you entered the water ahaha. This is me learning to swim with my cousin! This piece is for a gallery show at work.

Tagged: #art #cute

itbetterbeinenglish:

 

 

34choco:

How to Really, Really Piss Off the Wesboro Baptist Church

pocketmoony:

This made me laugh so hard!

casey-haunter:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

somedonkusfromasgard:

greatleapsforward:

meowitsraygun:

meowitsraygun:

I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”

Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”

id listen to you guys.

Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”

Oh my god

I’m already a fan. I want merch.

7 hours ago with 451,606 notes

mollydobby:

An Attempt to Eff the Ineffable - Transcript of “Knock, knock. Who’s There? Benedict Cumberbatch.” from BBC comedy sketch show “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ” S1E01  (x)

It does a great job with imitating Benedict’s and Martin’s voice and delivery - and its observations are hilariously absurd yet not untrue at the same time. 

“Benedict”: Morning, Tim! Tim Bowler, Timbory-Tim, Timbory, Tim, Timbory Tim, Timboree! What are you doing?

“Martin”: Oh, er, you know, I’m just, you know, er … gazing despairingly at the camera like a perplexed hamster, as is my duty as the put-upon everyman character.

“Benedict”: Well, well, you know, just to whisper in your shell-like [?] *laughs raucously* - the new guy starts today. I said you could show him the ropes.

“Martin”: Fine, er … when’s he coming?

“Benedict”: [Sherlock voice] I’ve been observing you from the reception area for the last half an hour. That is to say, I’m already here. Don’t feel bad for not noticing me sooner. When I stand very still and don’t speak, I can easily be mistaken for an incredibly ornate and attractive hat stand. The kind you find in an antique shop that doesn’t have any price tags. Don’t touch - you can’t afford. Hello.

“Martin”: Good … er … yeah, good gracious. Erm, what are you?

“Benedict”: My name is long and ridiculous, like my face. They call me Benedict Cumberbatch.

*fairy tale harp chords* [medieval choral chant] Ben-ne-dict Cum-ber-baaatch!

“Benedict”: Don’t worry, that always happens.

“Martin”: Uh, OK, right, yeah. Um, OK, well, so, let’s give you the tour. Well, we’ve got, you know, the photocopier here …

“Benedict”: Pish, posh, and Duchy biscuits. You don’t think I actually care about your tedious office, do you?

“Martin”: Well, no, but I sort of imagined you’re here because -

“Benedict”: Oh, you beautifully obtuse little turnip of a man. I’m here because after Sherlock and the Hobbit, I’m now contractually obliged to appear in everything you ever do, shall do, have done, have so much as considered doing – don’t you understand, we go together like bangers and mash, like cream tea and scones, like a put-upon everyman character actor and a big posh flamboyant manic pixie dream boy with cheekbones you could balance a BAFTA on.

Is it a man? Is it several hyper-intelligent cats sitting on one another’s shoulders wearing a latex man-suit? Or is it an incredibly sexy horse that’s learned to walk on its hind legs and talk very very very fast?

“Martin”: Um … sorry, could you repeat all that please?

“Benedict”: No time, get down with me beneath the stairs.

“Martin”: Why? Is there someone going to try to kill us or something? Or …

“Benedict”: [dramatic low voice] No, we just need to get uncomfortably close to one other and gaze homoerotically into each other’s eyes. Can you feel the tension? Can you? Can you … do you want to give me a little kiss? Oh you mustn’t - I’m an alabaster Adonis, don’t touch me!

“Martin”:  Um, yeah, OK.  Erm, bit weird, er … but still, less annoying than that Gervais guy. Erm, look, erm … how much longer is this going to go on for?

“Benedict”: For the rest of your life.

“Martin”:  What?

“Benedict”: Now, if you don’t mind, I have to exit dramatically through a window or something, for no reason other than it looks fantastic. Goodbye for now, put-upon everyman character actor. Remember my name.

“Martin”: *sighs* Ahhhh - I’ll never forget you, Bumblebee Cuttlefish! 

maureenstarkeys:

cheap clothing sites ($10 and over; most are under $20):

7 hours ago with 56,388 notes

Tagged: #reference